descent into darkness/ blinded by love (couldnt decide which was better)

palms sweating. hands shaking. body quivering with fear of not the unknown, but of the known beings he knows he will encounter in the wings of the abandoned building he is wandering in, desperately searching for his dog. clutching his M-4, Robert is constantly saying to himself that he has to go, knowing that he will surely be killed by infected humans if he continues through the vacant edifice.

as i watched this scene from I am Legend in the latenight hours of the day before my flight back home, it occurred to me that Legend might hold some deep truths about Christmas (i know, random, but thats just how my mind works). in this scene, Dr. Robert Neville (Will Smith, as if you didnt know) defies all danger and all possibility, perhaps certainty, of death to find his dog, Sam (Abbey/Kona), who ran in chasing a deer. he knew that the deadly 'nightseekers' resided in the emptied- out building and were ruthless predators that preyed upon any remaining human, yet, blinded by love for Sam, continued through the darkness. Robert was intent on not leaving the building without his only companion in the world. this is the same kind of Love that Christ displayed when he, motivated only by the rescue of His people, descended into a world of evil and hate and hostility against all reason. in case you havent seen the movie, the nightseekers are the sci- fi eqivalents to vampires and can almost be described as 'anti- humans', as a result of a deadly virus that sprung from a would-be cure for cancer that blanketed the planet three years prior the bulk of the movie(you can actually find many spiritual parallels from this film, but i keep a tight focus). the seekers are nocturnal, an inverse relation to human rhythms. the sun, our most basic source of life, is deadly to them. their pupils are permanently dilated, a sign of mental absence and death in humans. their heart and breathing rates are much higher than humans', showing a weakened ability to produce energy in their bodies. Neville even describes their social patterns as 'completely deevolutionized.'  the seekers are completely separated from their former human selves. this is a parallel to our own separation from God through our death in sin. sin condemned our world, coating it in darkness and encasing us in evil. despite these obvious deterrents, Christ came to our world, wanting so desperately to save those He loved and knowing for certain that His Presence would end in an unthinkably painful death.  like Robert, He devoted His life to saving the human race from death and considered it His personal and only mission to do so, even knowing that so many would not approve of the cure He offered. like Robert, He risked danger and death over and over to 'heal' man from his ailment. near the end of the movie, Neville cries out to the Seekers insisting 'i can help you! i can save you!' but with none would concede. how often to humans act exactly the same way? just as David Crowder put, Christ was the literal Remedy for the sickness that plagued all mankind and death was the only possible inoculation for His cure. there is also a repeated line in the film, 'light up the darkness.' this is exactly what Christ did as He lived in our world. before Him, there was only dark, no Hope for connection with God, yet Christ was the proverbial striking of a match, setting the world ablaze. this was exactly Christ's reason for coming here.

one more thing that occurred to me as i was watching this movie was the question, 'do we do the same thing?' Robert Neville was so desperate to find Sam that he was willing to risk everything in order to do so, but are we so desperate for God that we will crawl into the darkness, risk something to please Him and do His work? will we disregard the danger and the precautions simply to follow Him? i asked myself that question and could not think of many times where i showed that kind of devotion. Christ sacrificed everything to find us, how hard are we searching for Him? 

a descent into darkness: the reason for Christmas

love's razor

salvation isn't the only overcomplicated facet of our lives. we also tend to multiply love and forgiveness unnecessarily. i find so many times when i need to ask for forgiveness that i always have that slight reservation of 'but i need to make sure i don't do it again.' first of all, that probably  isn't even a plausible promise, but that isn't even supposed to take place in the process of forgiveness. there is no room for "God, i do this too much," or any variations of that. there is no point in the 'prodigal son' parable where the father says, "OK, just don't do it again." there is nothing but love and rejoicing in that conclusion. no matter what we encounter, we can always come back to God's love. no matter what, His Love prevails over all. it doesn't matter whether you follow the rules, act right, or anything else, we can fall back on His Love and nothing else matters.

heart: deconstructed

http://www.symbols.com/encyclopedia/20/2018.html

christmas playlist

1. Wizards in Winter, Trans- Siberian Orchestra

2. God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen, Relient K

3. O Come Emmanuel, Robbie Seay Band

4. Feliz Navidad, David Crowder* Band

5. Last Christmas, Wham!

6. Winter Wonderland, Tony Bennett

7. Christmas Time, ALO

8. Wonderful Christmastime, Paul McCartney

9. This Christmas, TobyMac

10. Rudolph the Red- Nosed Reindeer, Jack Johnson

11. The Christmas Song (Chestnuts), James Taylor

12. Christmas Song, Dave Matthews

13. Mary, Did You Know, Mark Lowry

14. The Chanukah Song, Adam Sandler

15. You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch, Thurl Ravenscroft

grace's razor

i am a huge fan of simplicity. specifically, i'm a fan of Occam's Razor, the principle that reads, entia non sunt multiplicanda praeter necessitatem, or entities should not be multiplied beyond necessity. i take this philosophy to almost any context, from my design work to how i organize my biology folder. so many people try  to take something and make it more than it is, change it, adjust, add, concoct, twist, marinate and flambe', and i think to myself, that is just too much, how do you live like that? i just take Occam to his word and shave off whatever's growing too much every morning. that's actually what i like about the maxim; it's not called Occam's principle, theory, or whatever. it's a razor with which you can shave off any aspect that's extravagant and excessive. that's why it bugs me when people take salvation and turn it into this bewildering and convoluted abstraction that completely transcends all human thought. and it's true that God's ways are incapable of being comprehended by the human mind, but the basic idea of Salvation is pretty simple: we were born in sin and separated from God, but Christ's sacrifice took the place of ours, and we're no longer separated. it's simple because grace makes it simple. if our salvation was based on works (which would actually be impossible, but i'm making a comparison), it'd be a heck of a lot more convoluted and confusing. one of my favorite Christian rap artists is this guy called Flame, and he puts it one of the best ways i could think of: the bad news: we were born in sin. the good news: we can be born again. he actually repeats that phrase over and over again in one of his tracks just to stress its simplicity and its significance at the same time. the other important thing is the razor only takes off multiplicity beyond necessity. there are still several aspects about Christ that are crucial and must be kept (he has a beard and it can't be shaven off; all those pictures and Jim Caviezel say so).

watch what i can do

considering the fact that i'm on a tv fast this week, i thought it'd be a good idea to give my special tv-picks-for-shows-that-you-probably-aren't-watching-right-now-but-are-still-good presentation. here's a couple shows that i think fit that mold:

fringe

ok, folks, just stick with me just a second here. i know that the weird-looking, Dawson Creek Dude-starring, x-files for the twenty-first century-looking program might come off looking like a great idea for horrible programming (i used to think the same thing), but this is a quality show that has a fresh look for science fiction and a knack for bugging you out. the only reason i started watching is it comes on just after House and it caught my interest. just as a fair warning, there are some very hoky elements to it, but that's kind of the persona that the show takes on (that's actually why i enjoy it so much). the show follows special agent Olivia Dunham (Anna Torv) who investigates unusual occurrences known as The Pattern with the help of Peter Bishop (Joshua Jackson) and his unstable mad scientist of a father, Walter (John Noble). my personal favorite aspect of the show is Walter and his wacky antics (which are comparable to those of Kramer). if you enjoy science fiction or simply like being weirded out, this show is worth a shot.

life

Detective Charlie Crews(Damian Lewis, who you might recognize as Major Winters from Band of Brothers) has lead a rough life. not only has he spent twelve years wrongfully imprisoned, but his wife (Jennifer Siebel) has left him, he is an outsider among his fellow cops, and he's pretty sure that some one set him up for that triple murder over twelve years ago (one of the ongoing story lines in the show). you wouldn't know that just to talk to Charlie, though. despite all his hardships, he's been able to come up with a new zen outlook on life, accepting his situation and not being attached to worldly objects (although that second part may be due to his untold fortune he received as a settlement from the department). Lewis' supporting cast is comprised of Sarah Shahi, who plays Crews' somewhat troubled partner, Dani Reese, and Adam Arkin, who plays Crews' displaced accountant and former cellmate, Ted Earley (who lives above his garage). smart and indifferent to what people think of him, Charlie is a House for cop shows and an interesting take on an LA detective (plus he loves fruit).

(Ooh! a chance to get spiritual:)

the tagline for Life is 'life was his sentence, life is what he got back,' which is relatable to our situation with salvation. though our sentence is rightly given, our true justification comes in the form of redemption and a new start. we are set free from that bondage of sin and are able to flourish in this fresh life that Christ has given us simply through grace.

a fast quick

after some extensive prayer and reflection this past week, i made a decision to go without tv for seven days (today through saturday). first, this isn't quite so serious  as it might sound. this isn't some serious trial, and i'm not weighing on any hard decisions; i simply feel that i really need to focus and buckle down as it were. i also think that i've really been watching tv too much (when you start having dreams starring Shawn Spencer and Greg House, that could be a sign). the reason i'm posting this is one: if i tell other people, it keeps me honest. and two: i would appreciate your prayers as i've never fasted before (i couldn't even do that 30 hour fast thing in high school). thank you very much (and don't tell me what happens in House this week).

the matrix has you

10:56 AM: as i leave my room for my 11:oo brit lit class, thoughts race through my mind about my professor's sinister promise to lock the doors once class starts for the rest of the semester (all of 3 remaining classes) and i suddenly quicken my pace. i start thinking that something is terribly wrong, so i look in my hands and suddenly realize that my notebook isn't in either of them. i instantly race back to my room to retrieve it and try to will my unnecessarily heavy door to close faster once i acquired the vital fold of paper. i promptly speed towards the Jennings building much like a corporate magnate that is late for a meeting, but refuses to run because of his indispensable dignity. Before i know it, i scale three flights of stairs with a speed that would rival Eric Liddell's and plow into class, desperately trying to mask my body's insatiable need for oxygen as i sit down (all the while remembering that my professor ALWAYS needs to iterate his lectures twice and that wednesday was only session one of his proverbial schpeel about Shelley's 'Ode to the West Wind').

11:01 AM: i slowly regain my composure in my seat/desk that really should be reserved for grade schools and try to focus on the semi- heard oration on the purpose of poetry, perception of reality, the distortion of experience, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera (don't get me wrong, here. my brit lit professor is actually one of the best teachers i've ever had). i catch a few dispersed thoughts in my not-rainy-but-completely-cloudy-day-that-makes-you-think-of-desolation-and-despair state of mind that sound of 'remembered thoughts are greater than the initial reaction to reality' and 'absolute relation of experience requires an artist's touch' and my introspective cognition immediately turns to quotes from Morpheus of 'The Matrix' (the one that was actually good). "what is real? how do you define real? if real is what you can feel, smell, taste, and see, then 'real' is simply electrical signals interpreted by your brain." "welcome to the Real World." "what if you were unable to wake from that dream? how would you know the difference between the dream world and the real world?" i'm sure these are all thoughts that have run through our minds at one point or another. however, i would define 'real' as something that is actually there. something that, irrelevant of what we feel or touch or experience, is there. this would have to be something independent and based on nothing but absolute truth; perhaps even something unprovable by our own thoughts. i've often thought that our lives are actually synonymous with The Matrix; that we're plugged into this false reality, perceiving that this life is the real thing and Heaven is somehow less because it's intangible. but the fact is Heaven is more real than this place. right now we are experiencing an earthly life and waiting to be "unplugged" from this lowly reality. that once we are in Heaven, we'll truly experience reality; the reality God intended us to feel.

11:32 AM: as i seep out of the trance of my own thoughts, i continue to carelessly jot down the phrases my professor emphasizes the most and, once i get the carrots out of my ears, begin to listen as he relates the assertions of Shelley, Coleridge, and Wordsworth to Platonic theory. The passionate orator continues to point out this analogy proposed by Plato:

most of the people in this world are like remnants of a cave, viewing shadows on a wall projected by a fire filtered by cut-out shapes and accepting this sight as their reality. only a few will view this and believe that shadows don't just appear; they have to come from somewhere, so they turn around and investigate. they've never seen direct light before, so they are blinded at first, but as their eyes adjust, they see the fire and the shapes and realize what the shadows really are. only a few of these will investigate further and venture out of the caves, and as their eyes adjust again, view a completely new world, complete with colors and shapes they've never seen before. they come to a lake and see in the reflection trees and mountains and stars in the sky and think to themselves, "this has to be the real world." still, only a few of these will look up and see the actual trees, mountains, stars and think, "this has to be the real world."

i think to myself, "isn't that so true." so many of us are trapped in a cave believing that this world and this life is all there is to it. very little of us will stop to think, "no, there has to be more." we venture out and realize that though the truth is so much more threatening, it is completely liberating at the same time. there are also those who are so frightened by this outside truth that they will cower back into the cave and pretend that the cave is all there is (much like Joe Pantoliano's character in Matrix).

11:48 AM: my professor reminds the class that we will be going over Keats on monday (and i remember he made the same promise about today on wednesday) and dismisses the class. i'm the first one out of the room because i drank coffee before class and have to get going like yesterday. and i think to myself, "this is so going to be a blog."

a heavenly connection

i love prayer. just the thought of communication with the God of the entire Universe gets me so excited and thankful for the fact that we serve an accessible, loving, and forgivable God. you often hear the analogy of Michael Jordan or somebody wanting you to be on his team is like God choosing us, but i think that the two instances are simply incomparable. who the heck is MJ? this is GOD we're talking about; the beginning and the end the great I AM! (yeah, i know its just an analogy, but you get my point) the great thing about prayer, though, is that it is essentially unnecessary (stick with me here, i'm making a point). we know God is omniscient; He knows what we need and what we think of Him, and everything else, but He's not just the Loving God that fulfills our needs, He's the Loving God that wants to hear us cry out in our insufficiency and lowliness to ask Him for fulfillment. one thing that we need to remember, though, is God always has those three answers at His disposal: yes, no, and wait. just because we rely on Him and put our faith in Him through our prayers doesn't ensure us an affirmative answer. we fall into this misled thought because we often make prayer about ourselves, not Him. this about communication with and faith in God, nothing else.

favorite analogies

(i need a picture, so i'll just put this picture of a building that looks like Orthanc)

selling out is like rolling your belly: the only people who look down on it are the ones without the skill to do so.

free time is like a political office: you work real hard to get it, but once you do, you don't know what to do. (ode to Robert Redford)

children are like hiccups: they're fun to watch when they're someone else's, but when you have them yourself, you just want to get rid of them.

feel free to add some more in a comment